good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
