Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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