Already got asked if we're dating
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
third nipple confirmed
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Randomize
