i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
True strength comes from lack of pants
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
