Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize