oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize