He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
