What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
