We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
