After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You ate ashes out of my bong
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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