CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize