I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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