The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
