16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
