Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize