I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I cannot find my penis.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
