I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
