and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
