Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
