its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
