Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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