I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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