You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Still dying that you shit outside
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
