At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
two words: eviction party
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
