Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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