dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
