its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
