It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
