Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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