GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
