Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
and eventually we just all took our pants off
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
