everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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