Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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