his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
My dick has a subreddit
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
