..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
