I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
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