you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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