Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
