I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
