am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
