Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize