I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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