do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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