Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
i think im in europe. pls send help
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
