just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
