some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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