Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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