Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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