I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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