wanna go halves on a baby?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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