I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You dont lie about slip and slides
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Who died my cat blue again?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
