all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We were destined to go to rehab together
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
