"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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