what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize