Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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