woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
