I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
bring money and cleavage
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
