"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
