Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
