I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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