My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
