i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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