I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
