A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
